3 weeks

It's been more than 3 years since my family has visited me. My mom and my oldest brother, Liakos, were here last in June 2005, when Andre was born. Since then, with 2 children in tow, I've flown to Cyprus 4 times, each for extensive periods.

We've owned our house since July 2006, and this coming weekend will be my mom's first time here. She and Liakos are flying in Miami this Sunday afternoon, and will be staying with us until December 10th, approximately 3 weeks.

I am a little worried. Not for drama as many of you deal with in your families. No such thing here. My worry lies with the fact my 41-year-old brother is mentally retarded (birth hypoxia) and has some "issues." The main cause for these is that he is unable to speak, which renders him almost un-communicable. He can't express his joy, his frustration, his anger, his excitement, his appreciation, his desires. His needs and wants, as thoroughly met by my hero of a mother as they might be, are still up in the air for guessing. In a way, he isn't much more advanced than an infant, grunting and pointing his way through life.

This all would be without consequences had Liakos been in the form of an infant as well. But at a build of more than 6 feet tall and more than 200 pounds heavy, Liakos can be dangerous. He relies heavily and almost exclusively on my mom to take care of him, dress him, bathe him, serve him etc. If things are not as he likes them, his belt not quite the right way, his shirt not in his pants all around, he gets frustrated and impatient. My mom has really suffered, still is, because of this. Liakos gets aggressive. He's pulled her hair, swung at her without missing, thrown things. She bears the brunt of his wrath due to proximity, but most of us, including myself and my husband, have been unfavorable to him one time or a few.

Liakos also gets jealous. He loves deeply and he expects attention and flattery. He likes being treated as a cool friend; we all accomodate him in that. There's times though that he feels shunned, that somebody else is receiving more attention than he is. Naturally, with little children in our family, this does occur. We are always careful, sometimes after reminding ourselves, to avoid "forgetting" about him. To shake hands, and smile frequently, address him, and clink our glasses with his. Does this get tiresome? Yeah, it eventually does, but prevention is a better alternative than broken stuff or a crying child.

Don't get me wrong. I love Liakos to death. I was born into this, so it is my reality, I didn't have to adjust to a new baby brother with his condition. He is an absolute sweetheart who loves giving and getting hugs, tremendously enjoys riding his bicycle around the neighborhood and at the Special Olympics, and can spend hours watching little children at play.

It's my biggest wish that he gets well, that he someday can talk. I've dreamt about it so many times, I've prayed about it, I cursed about it, I cried about it.

I can't even imagine being in my mom's position. I can't imagine being a beautiful newlywed at 21, having my first child by my handsome loving husband, and not having any experience to recognize something is wrong. She thought it was normal for a baby to cry constantly, and throw up after every bottle. She was slightly concerned, but clueless as to the actual extent of the problem. Liakos was finally diagnosed at around 2 years old. How crashing that realization must have been.

My mom keeps on keeping on. She is the strongest, most persistent person I've ever known. He's her baby, he belongs at home with the family, not locked up in some institution, medicated unconscious and unloved. And for 3 weeks, he will be visiting his baby sister.